Typing in CAPS won’t work. Here are 5 things that will.
Pandemics and politics, antifa and antivax, fake news and flat earthers; there’s never been more reasons to get into an argument with your family, your friends, and even random strangers on the internet.
If your fitness tracker thinks you’re working out 40 times a day because your heart rate and blood pressure spike every time you get online, I get it. It feels like there’s so much at stake right now that every conversation is a debate you need to win.
But is all this arguing actually helping you, or your cause? Is your time spent crafting comments actually helping…
5 Perfect Tunes For The NYE Party We Can’t Have Because F*ck 2020
2020 has inspired a lot of musicians. Many wise and wistful songs have been penned about this strange and socially-distant year.
This list doesn’t have any of them. These songs are the sweary ones, the shouty ones, the ones to howl as we drain the last drops of booze from the bottle and then use that bottle to smack 2020 right in the junk and out the damned door.
(NSFW. This contains swearing. So much swearing.)
Avenue Beat — F2020
Put your hands in the motherfuckin’ air If you kinda hate it here and you wish that things would Just like chill for like…
Laugh at that seasonal salad! Laughing burns calories!
In the hectic whirl of a socially-distanced Christmas, it’s tempting to find joy and solace in festive comfort food. But is there any point surviving — and maybe even thriving — over a COVID Christmas, if your waistline is also growing? No matter how good your mental health is, you won’t feel seasonal cheer when you also feel overweight!
Luckily, losing Christmas weight doesn’t have to be time-consuming and expensive (although a lot of the best methods are). We’re here to help you get your life back under control and your waistline…
I’m a lipreader; here are some easy and science-backed ways to make Coronavirus communication suck less.
About 15% of the population have hearing loss or lipread, so mask use in public spaces is making communicating a lot harder all round. So, before whipping it off, what can we do?
1. Listen Up
When someone tells you they lipread, showing you understand that we’re finding it hard and not being rude when we ask for a repeat or clarification — or worse, ignoring your question as we don’t hear it — goes a long way.
2. Ask Us How
We know how to work with our hearing best. We may ask you to repeat yourself, or speak more loudly, or use simpler phrasing with…
Use project management tools to colla-boo-rate with your family for a frightfully great night.
Thanks to coronavirus, it looks like Halloween parties and trick or treating are dead to most families this year. But that doesn’t mean that Halloween can’t be frightfully fun. If you get your brains together and colla-BOO-rate you can still have a night so good it’s scary.
For the fiendish families out there, here is a project and event manager’s guide on how to reanimate the spookiest night of the year and leave your kids screaming for more.
It’s okay to be a bit sad but try to think about what your kids really enjoy about Halloween as an event…
Every. Single. School. Morning.
Adam Mansbach’s sweary bedtime tale, Go the F**k to Sleep, has sold millions of copies since its release in 2011. But now his kids are older he is probably cursing a different problem, same as our family.
Inspired by another shouty morning, here is the song I sing every day as I haul my children out of bed with a forklift. I don’t want to do this, or to sing it every day, but this is my life now.
So, without further ado — because we are already running late, will you please put your shoes on and get in…
Leave that mask on; I’m a lipreader, and here’s how we can make this suck less.
So as coronavirus won’t take the hint and leave already, it looks like face masks are going to be a thing for a while. This is good — not catching or spreading coronavirus is a definite win — but for people who lipread, mask use in public spaces makes communicating a hell of a lot harder.
And that’s probably more people than you’d think. Research suggests about 15% of the population has significant hearing loss but — as anyone who works in retail can tell you — many more people use some assistive lipreading to smooth things along.
Children and…
No one asked but I am sharing anyway; I decided to immolate my uterus.
So I recently paid many-many dollars to a now-very-wealthy surgeon to surgically destroy my endometrial lining with radiofrequency, or as I prefer to say, to flamethrower the fuck out of my uterus. Ablation is both the correct term AND a respectably gory name for a grindcore metal band.
I had good reasons, other than the sheer death metal brutality of it. I have had 2 kids and it turns out they came with a bonus bunch of post-partum medical issues. …
We tried to teach. We got homeschooled.
School’s finally out for summer so let’s review what our family have learned over the last few torturous millennia, I mean months, of homeschooling.
Many facts were learned. Not by my kids, of course. They’re off the garden somewhere eating mud or setting fires or something. They learned nothing but Mum and Dad’s favourite spots to hide the TV remote, the fancy biscuits, and occasionally ourselves.
But the grown-ups feel a great deal more educated. When the primary schools and daycares here in Ireland announced they were closing but would be sending out work each day, we stayed hopeful. After…
If you wrote something for which someone sent you a check, if you cashed the check and it didn’t bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented. Stephen King, On Writing
Stephen King wrote that.
On good days, I remember that Stephen King — a man with both an amazing body of work and an absurdly cute dog — thinks I’m talented. …
